Okay. Here’s my account of the world
premiere of the White Lion Studios production of ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS
which happened… uh… oh, crap. Which happened TWO MONTHS AGO, Friday night,
September 30, at the historic North Park Theatre on Hertel Ave. in Buffalo.
What a ridiculous, insane and fun
movie!
But, wait, wait... hang on… I’m
getting ahead of myself…
[NOTE: Okay, it took me forever to write this (ask
Marcus and Ken!) and my finally completing this post is good news/bad
news.
The good news is two-fold: First, I finished the
damn thing (YES!). Second, I more-or-less was able to "document" the
event, if not in a true journalistic fashion, then at least in a manner to
satisfy my personal idiosyncratic goals. I think the local WNY filmmaking
community is a fascinating over-all network of various smaller overlapping
groups and worthy of some sort of
on-going "reporting" or written coverage. In this particular case,
when I say "filmmaking" I mean those who engage in all parts of
the cinematic process: producers, writers, directors, actors, crew,
etc. Unfortunately, at present I don't seem to have the discipline or
efficient writing ability to do such reporting myself; although I'm always
hopeful that may change, even if improvement means I just post more frequently
on this blog. At the very least, for my own purposes, I'm aiming to write more
about those films and filmmakers I have some sort of knowledge about simply
because my memory is beyond flawed and, after a short period of time, I forget
a lot of stuff. So, for myself, I'm excited that I
actually followed through on writing about this one filmmaking event. Now I
have something I can refer back to in the future! Hopefully, I can motivate my
butt to do some more posts, but we'll see. The bad news: I take FOREVER to
write and additionally, I take FOREVER to
get to any sort of point in whatever I’m writing.
For instance, I have a bad habit of
"burying the lead," among many other bad writing habits. Although,
some readers may feel I NEVER get to the point in my writing. I'm a long-winded
tortoise of a writer. The italicized dates in the above top left corner
indicate the day when I started writing this and when I finally finished it.
I know: OY.
But there's a bonus: this post is also LONG AS
HELL. Sorry! I mean, YAY! Anyway, here it is in all its meandering,
name-dropping glory. And thanks for checking
it out!]
PRE-SCREENING:
First things first: If
you see me running down a street in Buffalo, chances are very good
that I'm trying to make it to a show in time. I’ve done this more often than
not ever since I started going to plays in Buffalo, like, back in the 80s. I
usually decide at the last minute that I'm actually going to attend a
performance, abruptly haul ass from home, barely have time to find a parking
spot and then desperately race to the theater. Friday night of the SHREWS
premiere was no different; although in that case, I knew well ahead of time I was going, so maybe there was
some personal time management issues going on there as well… so, uh... whatever! I
had to park a full block away from Hertel Ave. and then ran over halfway down
Norwalk before I “decided” to shift down to a walk and wheeze my heart-rate down some before strolling
pseudo-nonchalantly (in my mind) into the theater.
Ooh! It was great to see
"World Premiere Attack of the Killer Shrews" up on the marquee!
Before I even got my ticket, I saw writer/director Greg
Lamberson (the upcoming JOHNNY GRUESOME), who playfully greeted me by
sticking his head in the side window of the box office booth. Soon after I saw
him in the theater standing next to editor/digital FX artist Chris Cosgrave,
and writer/director/actor John Renna (both for DICK JOHNSON
& TOMMYGUN VS. THE CANNIBAL COP).
I almost blew off
saying hello to actor and screenwriter Paul “Doughy White Boy” McGinnis
(of KILLER
RACK fame and persistent split pants notoriety), but he shamed
me into saying hello. Although, in my defense, I walked past him without
realizing it was him.
Okay, I DID
actually completely ignore John Renna. I was talking to Greg and Chris in the
theater aisle and I saw that John was seated several seats in with some other
people between me and him, but before I could acknowledge him, I got turned
around and shamed by Paul, and then, easily distracted me, I was focused on
sitting closer to the screen in an aisle seat so I went off without even
acknowledging John's existence (which is saying something because he's a big
dude). As I sat down it dawned on me that I didn't actually say hello to him,
but I didn't feel like walking back up the aisle and rectifying that because I
figured I’d talk to him after the movie.
After I
parked my butt, I saw actor Bill Kennedy (who was in SHREWS) as he wandered
around the audience looking all spiffy in his tux and talking to various
people. Some people who sat behind me called Bill over and when he arrived an
impromptu photo op in the aisle began right next to me featuring Bill and the
aforementioned people. Friends and/or family, I conjectured. I further
conjectured the convivial crowd in general was appropriately crammed with such
encouraging kith and kin of other SHREW cast and crew.
From my seat I saw
that several rows ahead of me were the Muehlbauers: Tom, Shelly and their
daughter Hope. My association to them is pretty much as an acquaintance aka
“Facebook friend” though I have taken advantage of the social media connection
a couple times, having messaged Tom for some recommendations on Italian horror
(I noticed via some of his FB statuses that he seemed fairly well-versed in
that genre). We have also chatted about Astron-6’s THE EDITOR and Italian
giallos. Ah, you know, the usual guy locker room talk, baby…
Anyway, I stared at the backs of their heads for a while, especially at the
back of Hope’s head, her hair fashionably dipped in blue. After being
clandestinely creepy for several minutes (at least to anyone watching me
staring intensely at the backs of the heads of Clan Muehlbauer) – actually I
was being a little shy - I screwed up my nerve to wander down and say howdy. I
greeted Tom and Shelly and they waved and greeted me back, but mostly I wanted
to talk to Hope. Acting in the capacity as current Buffalo Movie-Video Makers
(BM-VM) Club President, I chatted with the young filmmaker and floated the idea
of Hope stopping by at one of our monthly BM-VM meetings this season. We could
discuss her short film, ZOMBIE KIDS, as well as her upcoming
feature, I
DARE YOU TO OPEN YOUR EYES. However, acting purely in the capacity
as a Hope Muehlbauer fan, I told her I had recently re-watched her filmmaking
debut (the 23-minute zombie film) and I thought the film still held up from
when I first saw it at Buffalo Dreams in 2014. Hope was 13 years old when she
completed ZOMBIE KIDS and while talking to her I learned she’s now in 11th grade.
She thought that she could work out attending a BM-VM meeting with her school
schedule. I went back to my seat a little giddy having just talked to the local
film celebrity.
Back at my
seat I'm soon surprised by three other WNY film people: Rochester area
filmmakers Adrian Esposito (BURY MY HEART WITH TONAWANDA) and Curt Markham
(SABREFROG) and Lewiston actor John Karyus (POULTRYGEIST).
The three happened to see me and wandered over. It turned out Adrian, Curt and
John had all been in the Niagara Falls area just a day or two before and worked
as extras on THE PLAGUE, the zombie film writer/director Emir Skalonja (THE
BUTCHER) was currently shooting. Adrian informed me that he himself was working
on a zombie film script and the concept he briefly described sounded pretty
cool.
Curt and I talked about the
upcoming screening of STRANGE BREW at the North Park, which was happening the
next morning Saturday (10/1) at 11:30 am. By the way, whenever I see something
about STRANGE BREW I usually think about Curt.
The 1983 comedy made enough of an impression
on a younger Curt that it influenced some characters in the animated film that
he made as a teenager, THE SEARCH FOR SILVERSPEAR, and that's always
stuck with me. [NOTE: The next day I learned via Facebook that Curt had
attended STRANGE BREW attired in all his "Canadian finery."]
Since we were discussing film
extras (THE
PLAGUE, remember?), John Karyus brought up a guy in L.A., an extra
who specialized in playing a mechanic in films. An actual mechanic, the dude
was discovered by a casting director, and ever since he has been type-cast as
the go-to "mechanic" role in films and TV. He usually gets a line or
three. He’s got that authenticity.
I then remembered that
John had gone to THE BUTCHER premiere earlier in the year
and he had talked favorably about it, so I told him about Skalonja’s (then)
upcoming FLESH
OF MY FLESH premiere. It was happening just a couple days
later, Sunday (10/2), at the Screening Room [NOTE: I actually did see
John there when I myself attended.]. [ADDITIONAL NOTE: If it seems like
Emir Skalonja is cranking out a lot of horror films… YES. In fact, since it’s
taken me so long to write this, Emir’s THE PLAGUE had its premiere as well(!)
at the Screening Room’s NEW location in the Boulevard Mall on Nov. 27.]
Other SHREW cast members were
making their way to their seats or talking to friends in the audience: Marcus
Ganci-Rotella, Liz Houlihan, Cheryl Szymczak. Like Bill Kennedy, they were
equally glamoured-up. There was also a blonde woman in a cream colored
dress that was a head-turning vision but I didn't know who she was, but
I guessed she was also in the film? [NOTE: I later
learned it was children’s book author, Roselyn Kasmire (The Misadventures of
Mage Magnus, The Adventures of Jasper: Road to Healthyville). I also realized I
was an addled-brain lame-ass! I actually MET Roselyn earlier in September at
Queen City’s Comic Con at the Buffalo Convention Center! She shared a table
with Bill Kennedy. She was selling and signing her books, and Bill was selling
DVDs of writer/director Emil J. Novak, Sr.’s FRANKENSTEIN’S
PATCHWORK MONSTER in which Bill himself played the good(ish)
doctor. Roselyn wasn’t actually in SHREWS, but she was a guest in the limo ride
to the premiere.]
Holy (Additional) Local
Celebrity Sighting! A spiffily attired gentleman asked if the seats next to me
were taken, I said nope, and he and his date sat down next to me. With
suppressed excitement I recognized him from the ATTACK OF THE
KILLER SHREWS trailer, but I didn’t let on because I actually
didn’t know his name. I also saw him in a 2015 Buffalo 48 Hour Film Project
that Ken Cosentino directed, PARRISH. Kind of thrilled by this development,
literally rubbing elbows with more of the local film community!
*star-struck!* [NOTE: Turned out it was Jonathan Rogers.]
Ken Cosentino then appeared on
the stage and welcomed everybody, clearly pleased and excited by the size of
the turnout. Oops, but we weren't ready yet. It was already past 9:30 pm but
the concession stand was small and when there's a crowd back there it takes a
while to work through the mob, plus there were still some latecomers in
general.
Alright, Ken came back and it
looked like they were ready to go!
Greg Lamberson was then called
up and he briefly got on stage with Ken to make a neat announcement: not only
was ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS going to show at the (then) upcoming Buffalo
Dreams Fantastic Film Festival (November 4-13) but director and Troma
Entertainment president himself, Lloyd Kaufman, would actually be present to
introduce it! Pat Swinney Kaufman, formerly the Executive Director of New York
State’s Governor’s Office of Film & Television Development, was going to be
presented with a Buffalo Dreamer Local Service Award, and she was also Lloyd’s
wife, so he was going to be in town with her. The announcement of Lloyd’s
presence at the screening in November was news to Ken.
Bill Kennedy then came up on
stage and after some words of appreciation to all the friends and family that
showed up, Bill did a shout-out to his grandfather in the audience. Bill put on
his grandpa's winter hat, and with mic in hand he proceeded to rap
the whole damn "Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground. Bill even came
off stage and walked around the audience while he still rapped
authentically-ish.*
Ken then
did a very heartfelt acknowledgement of his big brother, Matt Talley, who sadly
died the year before on September 1. It was Matt who suggested to Ken to make a
film like the original KILLER SHREWS and Matt was around when work began on
ATTACK. The premiere of ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS was in Matt's honor. As Ken
had put it on his Facebook page earlier in the week, "September is suicide awareness month and what is more
fitting than closing out the month (literally, because the movie ends around
midnight) with a feature film dedicated to my brother?" Understandably, it
was obvious that Ken was filled with a number of emotions that night.
And then the house lights began to faaade…
Holy crap! We got some trailers
before the film and what trailers! We were treated to a VERY
cool trio of sci-fi movies that were going to be shown at the North Park
Theatre in the following week: BLADE RUNNER: THE FINAL CUT (1982), DUNE (1984),
and AKIRA (1988)!
Then, the trailer for another
White Lion Studios film filled the screen: WOLF HOUSE (directed by Matt Lord).
I first saw WOLF HOUSE c couple years back at the Riviera Theatre as part of
the BNFF (Buffalo Niagara Film Festival). This trailer totally KICKED ASS. It
was great seeing that Wild Eye Releasing logo!
The trailer’s editing seemed tighter
than I remembered and it turned out that the folks at Wild Eye Releasing had a
hand with it. Ken announced on Facebook earlier in the week that Wild Eye was
going to be distributing and releasing WOLF HOUSE in spring of 2017 (but since
the premiere, it now sounds more like early January, actually). Man, that
trailer was pretty sweet!
Speaking of which, check it
out here.
And then it was…
SHOWTIME!
ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS (2016,
Written and directed by Ken Cosentino; with Jonathan Rogers, Marcus
Ganci-Rotella, Cheryl Szymczak, Elizabeth Houlihan, Bill Kennedy, Baird
Hageman, Bill Brown, Mick O'Keefe)
The opening credit
sequence with its miniature sets, miniature giant shrews and shout outs/homages
to other horror films turns out to be extremely entertaining. It’s a really
wonderful job by Liz Houlihan and Ken Cosentino. I LOVE the “clown car” shrew
coffin! It’s additionally enjoyable to watch because it’s evident a lot of work
(and cinematic affection) went into these opening credits.
Then, surprise! The
credits sequence turns out to be a clever lead-in to Lloyd Kaufman's filmed
introduction to SHREWS. I knew beforehand that Lloyd had an intro segment in
the film, but his appearance is actually a pretty quality bit of screen-time
with the Toxic Avenger’s creator. It didn't feel like a disposable
cameo. Nice!
We were then thrown into
the movie proper and the dude that was sitting right next to me, Jonathan
Rogers, plays Professor Charles Perry and we're at his opulent (kind of) abode
along with his guests: his literary agent, Lewis (played by Marcus
Ganci-Rotella), and Lewis’ companion, Cassandra (Cheryl Szymczak). It
is apparent that Perry is full of himself and loves sharing his
brilliance with others. It is also obvious he is interested in Cassandra, which
isn’t surprising because she looks pretty damn hot in that red dress.
Meanwhile, at some lab
somewhere else that night, Dr. Murdock (Mick O'Keefe) and his thickly-bearded
assistant, Svenson (Joseph Giambra), are conducting bizarre experiments
and it involves… SHREWS! Unfortunately, their serum transforms their test
subjects into violent, giant mutations that crave human flesh! I wish we could
have seen a version of an actual-size (i.e. tiny) shrew prior to its monstrous
transformation into something less tiny and more killer-y for reasons of
comparison (you know, a Before and After deal), but, okay, in reality: who
cares? We now have a deadly, obscenely large (for a shrew) and hairy beast on
the loose! That’s all that matters! Considering the deadly developments, Doc
Murdock flees the lab and runs for his life! Svenson, uh, not so much...
Further meanwhile, a
mysterious woman drives along a dark road when her car inopportunely breaks
down. Maybe she is to be shrew fodder? Or maybe not, because as luck would have
it, the sheriff happens to come along soon afterwards and stops by. After some questions,
it is learned that the attractive, glamorous driver (Liz Houlihan) is Hollywood
actress, Fiona Rae (a nice, casual nod moniker-wise to actress Fay Wray, famous
for her own monster movie cred), of whom Sheriff Blake (Bill Kennedy) is a
star-struck fan. She's supposed to be a guest at the Professor's as well, so
the Sheriff eagerly offers her a ride…
I'm not going to run-down the
entire plot, just know that everybody shows up at Perry's palatial shack and a
demented Dr. Murdock intrudes out of the darkness desperately crying
"Killer shrews!" but no one believes him. Until fake-haired,
ping-pong-ball-eyed death is viciously upon them and then everybody is running
like hell for safety.
I enjoyed the throwaway
red herring of a sub-plot of Lewis and Cassandra's sneaky doings behind the
Professor's back especially since it leads to a delightfully absurd shrew
entrance.
Jonathan Rogers is well-cast
as the egotistical Professor Perry, but I especially love his sudden
observations of something off-screen, each time delivered with perfect
seriousness and genuine mystification. When what he sees is finally revealed,
his befuddlement is understandable. So is ours.
Marcus Ganci-Rotella is
arguably playing "another straight man" but he always does a great job.
Okay, I'm saying this based on only two films, but I stand by that comment, by
God! He was one of my favorite characters in WOLF HOUSE. He’s not so much a
straight man as merely subjected to indignities in both films, but at least in
this film it's funny**: his impressive girly screams of
terror, his marathon chase through the woods, or being the unfortunate
recipient of a Killer Shrew's “attentions.”
It was great seeing Cheryl Szymczak with
more of a role. Usually I’ve seen her as an extra but this time she has an
actual character. It was fun listening to the prickly banter and tossed off
insults between Lewis and her as Cassandra, but she also shows some promise for
physical comedy. The scene where she's trapped in the front seat of a truck as
she’s fighting off a vicious Killer Shrew clawing at her through the windshield
while, at the same time, she’s trying to negotiate a rifle in the tight space
to get a shot at it is pretty damn funny. Sexy, too, with all her desperate
squirming in that red dress.
Liz Houlihan's Fiona Rae
is a nice dose of "classical acting” (for lack of a better term). I think
the character’s presentation is informed both by Liz’s theater training and
also what we may think a classic Hollywood studio actress would be like. I've always liked Liz since I saw her as the dramatic
lead in writer/director Greg Robbin's THROUGH A MOTHER'S TEARS, so ever since
then I've always looked forward to seeing whatever else she's in. It’s fun
seeing her embody this old-school Hollywood studio actress and great seeing her
do comedy, from her line delivery, and later, her extended goofy-ass mugging
for the camera.
Bill Kennedy as Sheriff Blake is an enjoyably
star-struck, sincerely doofus-y law enforcer. Bill plays him bigger than life
and he’s awesome looking in costume. I especially love that friggin' hat of his
and the big-ass gun he waves around and fires simultaneously with authority and
ineptitude. He can be stupendously bug-eyed at times, and definitely the most
prominent fourth-wall-breaking proclaimer of the line "Killer
Shrews!" Okay, running a close second in terms of fourth-wall-breaking
proclamations is Doc Murdoch, speaking of which...
Mick O'Keefe is pure
Z-movie gold with his sweatily intense line deliveries and apocalyptic warnings
of Shrewish doom, plus his mutation into Shrewishness himself (all wonderfully
apparent in the movie's trailer, by the way). O'Keefe's casting in this film
cashed in on the over-the-top promise seen in his brief appearances in other
films like Joey Springer's STAND OFF (where he has a memorable and
entertaining death scene as a zombie), his work in Rhonda Parker's films BITING
OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW (a zombie short) and LONELY
BANANAS (as part of a large comic ensemble) and more.
And the Killer Shrews
themselves were memorable for their focused performances and anti-social
appearances. Earlier on Facebook (in anticipation of the premiere and after
watching the SHREWS trailer) I remarked that these creatures had previously
appeared in WOLF HOUSE. I was incorrect. They were actually sort of inbred
cousins of those creatures. They were created from the WOLF HOUSE
creature molds apparently, but after that, all bets were off in terms of the
methodology of their completion. Their sorry states of appearance and
mis-construction are blatantly apparent in the film: obvious duct tape use,
gloves serving as paws at the end of exposed metal rods in the legs, even a dog
is used! Yes, a canine thespian is actually scantily clad in pseudo-ShrewWear;
the appearance is not merely a blatant indication of the FX
department's "ineptitude" but also an affectionate shout-out to
the original KILLER SHREWS movie. Sometimes dogs in
make-up were actually used to play shrews in the 1959 B-movie starring James
Best (later of DUKES OF HAZZARD TV fame***). Whether or not the dogs had their
own trailer for make-up, etc. back then is unclear. All of these memorably lame
examples were part of the deliberately impoverished aesthetic. These deadly-ass
Killer Shrews looked like they were built by the same FX school of creature
wizardry that created the spider in director Luigi Batzella's NUDE FOR SATAN
(1974). Their acting ability also matched their feral, Hairy-Muppet Chic.
For a quick reference, there is a great shot in the film's trailer of a Shrew
peeking around a wall menacingly.
As our panicky cast (so far)
flees to the nearby town or elsewhere, the film continues sprinkling in bold
examples of thrills and production value – for instance, a police car proceeds
recklessly through the night then suddenly hits a somewhat arbitrary incline in
the outdoors, causing it to become airborne and flip over.
Driving the car is Deputy
Wayne (played by Baird Hageman), Sheriff Blake's cousin (a fact Blake feels
compelled to continuously point out to everybody). Not knowing who actor Baird
Hageman was, I initially thought Wayne was a disposable character. This turned out
to be SO untrue. In a memorable sequence, Wayne is quickly resurrected into the
plot, motivating the damaged police car forward, but unfortunately driving said
vehicle into a tree, then, with the car finally deceased Wayne continues on
undeterred, commandeering a boat, then a motorcycle. When the motorcycle
appears comically out of nowhere, Deputy Wayne tears off into the wilderness,
popping a wheelie and proceeding hell-bent ever onward and I'm, like, who IS
this guy? SHREWS is arguably many things, but most definitely it is a very cool
introduction to Baird Hageman, local stuntman. As it turns out, he is also the
film’s maniacal set designer, building Chateau Perry and also digging a mine
(!) for the, well, mine sequence later in the film.
Oh. Yeah... speaking of that
mine sequence… Okay, I have to make a confession: I kind of, uh, zoned out
part-way through the film. Look, the film started late(ish) in the evening and
I don't sleep as regularly as I should and sometimes, well, I kinda zone out. I
realized this when during the Q&A afterwards there was talk about the mine
sequence and I'm like, "The what sequence? Oh, crap..!" So, my
apologies to Ken, cast and crew. Again, my lack of active cognition wasn't a
reflection on the film's quality or intensity, it was just me being a guy who
sometimes needs more sleep. My biggest regret for being briefly
unconscious was missing Bill Brown in that scene (judging from the SHREWS
trailer, his scene is perhaps inspired by Quint’s “USS Indianapolis” monologue in
JAWS?). I know! I suck! Sorry! But I DID see the glorious moment when Mr.
Wilkens (played by Bill Brown) and Professor Perry are back to back and
enthusiastically shooting away at Killer Shrews. It was fun seeing Ken (as
director) channel his inner Brian De Palma and (as director of cinematography)
whirling his camera deliriously around those two shrew-blasting mofos.
Crap! I’m kind of blabbing
away the entire plot here, which wasn’t my intention. Let me just tick off a
few more moments…
Like, Niagara Falls hip-hopper
Charlie "Coach" Hilson and Gary Marino as barber and customer
respectively in their little scene together in the, well, barber
shop.
And Michael Hawerbier’s brief
yet comically intense screen time as the manager of the diner. It was cool seeing
Michael again on-screen after having met him during LONELY BANANAS and working
with him on that film’s “pornimation” sequence.
Also, Liz Houlihan’s
hilarious, daringly protracted reaction of terror to a shrew in the barber
shop. Okay, my only criticism/observation: if perhaps shortly after she began
her reaction to something off-screen, if there had been a cut to a brief shot
of the fear-inducing shrew that she was looking at. You could have still cut
back to Fiona Rae channeling Curly Howard for as long as you wanted afterwards.
But, with the inclusion of a glimpse of a shrew I thought the audience might
then have better appreciated the why of her ridiculous
reaction in the first place and then enjoyed it more without some possible
distraction as to wondering what the hell Fiona Rae was going on about. Still,
this wonderfully prolonged silly-ass moment by Liz was brilliant.
I also have to mention
Ken Cosentino’s cameo as Officer Dewey. Okay, as I watched Dewey take forever to
back out of the room equipped with his permanently affixed goofy-ass smile,
part of me thought it was rather indulgent but another part of me thought
it was genuinely sweet. Because, really, I wasn't watching Officer Dewey
being smitten with famous actress Fiona Rae; instead, I was watching Ken
Cosentino being smitten with Liz Houlihan, and by the time he actually reverses
his butt all the way and actually out of the damn room, I was laughing at and
charmed by the moment.
The motley assortment of army
men: Joe Cliff Thompson, Eric Witkowski, Paul Spitale, James Ventry, and JB
Aaron.
Sam Qualiana playing, well,
another doomed asshole! (See KILLER RACK)
Oh! And look at that Ballistic
Nuclear Crayon go! Hahaha!
EVERYBODY in the ensemble cast
makes a distinct contribution to the comic insanity.
The film wraps up ridiculously
from the perspective of appropriate unbelievability, yet
somehowmanaging to be satisfying and heroic. I’ve left out several other
details I could touch on but I think (I hope) you have an idea of the exuberant
and fun spirit ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS was created with. It was freaking
entertaining as hell! Congrats to the ensemble cast and inventive, hard-working
crew and especially Ken Cosentino for putting this film together. As blatantly
low-budget as this film was, you could still appreciate the several moments of
genuine creativity and attention applied in assembling this consistently
entertaining feature. And to top it off, White Lion Studios whipped up a swell,
glitzy-ass World Premiere for it, too! Cripes, you even had an opportunity for
a photo op with a Killer Shrew (“Shrewbert!”) in the lobby!
POST-SCREENING:
After the film, Ken and the
rest of the SHREW-making ensemble assemble (ha!) on stage. JB Aaron (who played
Sgt. Stonewall in the film) grabbed a mic and energetically went into the
audience for the Q&A. I didn’t know who JB actually was other than he was
(apparently) a Country & Western singer from Niagara Falls that Ken reached
out to. When I was home and making love to Google, I learned JB Aaron was
indeed a singer, and also the North East Regional Champion of the 33rd Annual
Country Showdown (2014) which gave him the opportunity to play at the Grand Ole
Opry. JB’s casting was another example of Ken’s efforts to showcase and
celebrate Niagara Falls talent.
I learned a little more about Baird Hageman during the Q&A
(and maybe a couple other sources later). Baird’s a local stuntman who Ken met
twice during two different out-of-town productions that were shot in the WNY
area in 2012. The first was filmed in the city of Niagara Falls, director Lloyd
Kaufman’s RETURN TO NUKE ‘EM HIGH (VOL. 1 and 2),
and then again during the Buffalo shoot of out-of-town director Alexander
Yellen’s BATTLEDOGS (which
aired on the SyFy Channel in April 2013). Baird built the car ramp for use in
BATTLEDOGS, but they never used it. But Ken knew about it and remembered it,
deciding to exploit its existence in SHREWS for the police car flip. Baird also
used a backhoe to dig out the mine set in one day on his own property. As he
dug out a “mine” about 20 feet long and 10 feet high, Ken and cast filmed
scenes in Professor Perry’s “abode.” About a third of SHREWS was filmed on
Baird’s property. By the way, Baird also built the old sawmill where the
Cretins hung out in RETURN TO NUKE ‘EM HIGH.
I may have a “reputation” with some in the Buffalo film
community for always asking questions during Q&As at film screenings, but I
thought Adrian Esposito totally killed it with his questions for Ken. One was
about a possible missed opportunity to show a “flashback” from THE KILLER
SHREWS, the original film that inspired ATTACK, especially since the 1959 film
is in public domain. Specifically, Adrian thought Bill’s monologue in the mine
about the shrews offered a perfect opening for this. Ken had
actually considered utilizing some KILLER SHREW footage in ATTACK but then
changed his mind since the original film was in B&W. Adrian also wondered
that since Lloyd Kaufman was in the film, was Troma going to be distributing
the film? No, but it looks like Troma WILL be distributing the zombie film
WITHIN (2014) that Ken directed and co-wrote with Jon Ferrari. It'll
be renamed DEAD INSIDE. [NOTE: This is exciting news for me
because I missed the two local screenings of WITHIN, but did catch the crazy
Q&A AFTER the Buffalo Dreams screening it had, and based on that Q&A,
man, THAT movie is screaming for a “behind the scenes/making of” documentary!]
I can’t remember if Ken talked
about this before or after the film screened, but SHREWS came about because
another film project fell through. Back in 2014, White Lion Studios tried to
raise $55,000 via Indiegogo to film CAMP OF THE DAMNED, with Emmy-award winner
Bill Oberst, Jr. (ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES, DefTone Picture Studios’ A GRIM BECOMING)
as the lead. Unfortunately, they only raised 2% of their goal, so all their damned
CAMP plans (sorry!) and pre-production efforts were for nothing.
However, Ken didn’t want the opportunity of having the local players he had
already assembled together go to waste, so he took a script he already had
started (SHREWS!) and finished it in one (two?) days. Then, over the next two
weeks, they shot the film. The rest of the time since then was used to hammer
ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS into shape (editing, creating the opening credits
sequence, etc.). I thought it was kind of neat knowing this backstory. To me it
illustrates both how difficult it is to get various elements together to make a
film, and also how you need to have a certain drive and tenacity to complete a
film (no matter how low-budget).
After the Q&A, the
audience slowly started to break up, talk amongst themselves, and take more
pictures with each other. Curt and I talked about the neat trio of sci-fi
trailers before the film. He was particularly impressed by DUNE. Curt lives in
Rochester and has been stopping by the North Park regularly to catch their
“retro” showings. That reminds me, I’ve been so lame I have YET to go to the
Dryden Theater in Rochester to catch any of the fabulous screenings they have
going on there and I’ve been talking about doing that for YEARS now (arggghhhhh!).
Although, nowadays there's enough cool stuff being shown in Buffalo (like, at
the North Park, the Screening Room, Peter Vullo's monthly Thursday
Night Terrors at the Dipson Amherst, as a for instance****), hell, I
should just focus on getting out more to see those screenings...
Talking to John Karyus again,
we not only both enjoyed the crap out of the SHREWS opening credits sequence,
we also talked about Lloyd Kaufman’s intro segment. We both loved Lloyd’s intro
and then we got into the subject of Lloyd Kaufman movie appearances. John
mentioned Lloyd's role in Hal Hartley’s last film but he couldn't think of the
title. I brought up Lloyd's appearances in KILLER RACK and also in (Winnipeg
film collective) Astron-6’s FATHER’S DAY. Meanwhile, thanks to my mistress
the internet, I later learned the Hal Hartley film was NED RIFLE (2014).
I saw Zak Noweihed and
wondered if his filmmaking partner, Gabe Simon, was around (they did the
award-winning RENAE at this year’s Buffalo 48 Hour Film
Project).
I also spoke briefly to
actress Erika Frase. I brought up the idea with her (again)(we previously saw
each other at the Screening Room for some other film screening, but I forget
what) that the short film she was in, EX.,
might be a cool concept to expand into a feature. I saw the comedy short when
it had its premiere in a bar in Niagara Falls. Erika was delightful in it,
displaying an engaging enthusiasm to embarrass herself for the sake of a laugh
while still staying in character. EX. was directed by Matt Lord, also featured
Marcus Ganci-Rotella and in a "special appearance," Bill
Kennedy. [NOTE: It turns out I would continue to bump into Erika at the
North Park Theatre a week later at BIFFX (the 10th Buffalo
International Film Festival) during the screenings of TREW CALLING, DWELLING,
and MERCY.]
Meanwhile, I forgot about looking for John Renna by then and,
thus, officially blew him off. Sorry, ya big lug!
Heading out, I saw that Leanne
Downey and Billy Hammond had a table set up in the back of the theater for
their Smoking Hot Bags. I first met Leanne when she was an awesome looking cult
member while shooting DICK JOHNSON & TOMMYGUN VS. THE CANNIBAL COP and then
I first encountered Leanne’s cool recycled purses in August at the
inaugural WNY FAME Arts Festival that was at Geneseo Community College (the
festival was founded by Albion filmmakers Rhonda and Mark Parker and their
Beaver Alley Studios). Leanne and Billy’s “bags” are made out of converted
cigar boxes (Billy’s the smoker) and then the boxes are dolled up to look like
a bag. Billy does the physical conversion: handles, hardware, etc. Leanne does
the painting of the boxes, usually doing horror, pin-ups, and commission work.
In this case, they created a number of products especially for the ATTACK OF
THE KILLER SHREWS premiere. Besides the bags, they had a couple strange little
boxes that when you opened them up, the inside was lined with black fur:
GENUINE SHREW FUR! They were so weird, perhaps even morally-inappropriate
(conceptually speaking…) that I HAD to buy one! Okay, sure, maybe
“morally-inappropriate concepts” are in the eyes of the beholder… are you
saying I should have bought two?
Oh, man! The poster for ATTACK
OF THE KILLER SHREWS was totally bad-ass looking, and they were selling the
30”x40” posters for $25. Unfortunately, I really don’t have room to put movie
posters up, so I usually refrain from buying such stuff, no matter how seductive the
image of a terrified cast, no matter how juicy the colors seem
to explode off the glossy paper, especially large sizes of glossy paper
like this. Alas, I simply had no place for such delicious
items. I’m sorry. [NOTE: Yes, I bought one. Of course.]
And then Ken came up to me and said they had an unusual item of
merchandise, of which there were only three of them. It was a rubber white rat.
Why a rubber rat? Because they were out of rubber shrews at
the various Animal Rubberies, of course! Everyone knows late September is the
absolute WORST time to buy your rubber shrews! But, you make do with what you
got. Anyway, they had these white rubber faux-shrews, and only
three of them. And what made them extra unique was that they were signed by:
Ken Cosentino, Marcus Ganci-Rotella, Elizabeth Houlihan, Bill Kennedy, Jonathan
Rogers (“I give a rat’s ass!”), Cheryl Szymczak, and finally, Lloyd
Kaufman, himself! Anyway, the fact that the three-of-a-kind item existed
was great, but then Ken did a very sweet thing and he gave me one
of them! He said it was in thanks for my support of the film. I was rather
taken aback by this unexpected gift, and ultimately, I was touched by the
gesture. I don’t know if I actually deserved it… but I ain’t
freaking giving the squeezable albino vermin back! Seriously, this
autograph-tatted rubber SHREW was greatly appreciated. Thanks, man! [NOTE:
Oh, and good thing I saw Marcus sign it with my own eyes or I’d have no clue
who’s psychotic scrawl that was. Everyone else’s name is legible and
lovely.]
Finally, as I was leaving, Ken was at the
box office and I overheard that the attendance
was around 350 people. Excellent!
And that was it. Or, rather, I’m finally going to
wrap this mother up...
EPILOGUE:
Unfortunately, due to some personal
circumstances, it turned out I wasn’t able to attend the Buffalo Dreams
screening of ATTACK OF THE KILLER SHREWS on Nov. 6. So, I not only missed
seeing it again on the big screen, but also missed Lloyd Kaufman’s live intro.
DAMMIT!!
But the film wound up being nominated
for six Buffalo Dreamer Awards:
BEST COMEDY FEATURE
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK FEATURE
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK ACTOR – Bill
Kennedy
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK ACTRESS –
Elizabeth Houlihan
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK ACTRESS –
Cheryl Szymczak
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK DIRECTOR – Ken
Cosentino
I also missed the actual awards
ceremony that happened to follow the SHREWS screening.
SHREWS wound up taking home two
awards:
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK COMEDY FEATURE
and
BEST WESTERN NEW YORK ACTRESS –
Elizabeth Houlihan
I happened to make it back to the
Eastern Hills Mall just after the awards ceremony in time to see people
celebrating in the lobby and taking pictures in front of the Buffalo Dreams
banner. I learned about the White Lion team’s good news and congratulated Ken
and Liz on their awards. Also saw that Shrewbert made the trip to the theater
as well.
Meanwhile, I also bumped into Marcus,
and, well, back at the SHREWS premiere I let slip that I was intending to write
a review of the film as well as something about the premiere itself and post it
on my blog. A week later at BIFFX, Marcus saw me at the premiere of
writer/director Kyle Mecca’s DWELLING. He wondered where the blog post was and
I told him I was still working on it. This began an ongoing
conversation with Marcus which continued through the Buffalo Dreams
Fantastic Film Festival. Every time I saw him at a screening, he would ask where
this supposed post was: What was taking me so damn long? Was it ever going to
be finished? Why did I hate them? Or he'd use other tactics, saying:
“No, I'm not even going to ask any more,” “You're dead to me,” Etc.
Anyway, I suck at
deadlines (ask Tom Waters), even self-imposed ones, so now that I’ve finally
finished this post, I’m gratefully dedicating it to Marcus for his constant
“badgering” of me -- and believe me, I say that good-naturedly, because I KNOW
this guy could genuinely badger me and make my life a living hell if
he had set his mind to do just that -- in fact, the phrase Marcus used was
“I could be more belligerent” -- so, really, I know I got off easy! Sometimes I
need a bit of constant incentive to finish something.
So, thanks, Marcus, you
cinematic-abuse-magnet!
By the way, for those shrew-a-philes
that missed both screenings or are simply waiting to hold their own ATTACK
OF THE KILLER SHREWS DVD in their sweaty paws, White Lion Studios is planning
to do self-distribution of SHREWS and are currently waiting for the DVDs to be
made. [NOTE: Ken and crew were hoping for a DVD release in the first
week of December 2016, but there turned out to be a delay in the
manufacturing of the DVDs. Hopefully not too long a delay. Consult the ATTACK
OF THE KILLER SHREWS Facebook page for further announcements.]
Speaking of sweaty paws, now that
this post is FINALLY done, I think I deserve a little me-time, so perhaps I’ll
unwind with a certain little hand-made furry container…
* If you want to see Bill Kennedy
getting down with his bad self, there's this Youtube video.
** The indignities Marcus puts up
with in WOLF HOUSE are also for comic purposes (to a degree) but in that film
they ultimately serve a dramatic context and inform some of the character
dynamics in the film.
*** A brief but appropriate detour:
Coincidentally, James Best also appeared in a sequel to THE KILLER SHREWS. I
haven’t seen RETURN OF THE KILLER SHREWS (2012) but I think I’ve seen the DVD
available at Family Video. In RETURN, Best not only reprises his role as Thorne
Sherman but he co-wrote the script as well. HAZZARD buddy John Schneider also
shows up as a talent-challenged actor (that’s not a critique, that’s his actual
character). If you watch the Youtube trailer, there’s more of an intentional
campy quality this time around, and Bruce Davison seems to really be embracing
his role (and throwing in some authentic WILLARD love, too).
**** Update: As mentioned above, the
Screening Room Cinema Cafe is now located at the Boulevard Mall in what was
formerly the Funny Bone Comedy Club. The address is 880 Alberta Dr. and
it has an entrance on the outside of the mall, located between
Macy's and JC Penney. It faces Alberta Dr. and Wegman's. Meanwhile, there's
only one screening left in Pete Vullo's Thursday Night Terrors series: John
Carpenter's THE THING (1982). It's happening Thursday (natch!), Dec. 15 at 7:30
pm at the Dipson Amherst Theatre, University Plaza, 3500 Main St. (across from
the UB South Campus).
